To nature, childhood and neighbours

I’m sorry for not showing you that I love you. I keep denying that i like spending time with you. We used to hold hands and talk to each other, without keeping any secrets; we were honest. I would run to you, not because you asked me, but because you called. I thought you were everlasting; my fears only appeared when i realized you were gone.

I’m panicking. Who am i? Why am i here? Why am i so far from you? Where did i go? Who took me away from you?

I’m talking to you baby!

Everything you did to me that fulfilled my desires is buried in an island off in space. I don’t know where to find you! No one around me knows where you are either. Are you dead? Did you get kidnapped? Why would you ever leave me?

I know i should have told you i love you. I’m sorry! I didn’t know you would leave me and i never thought i’d be so lost and hurt without you. I’ve been desperately crying and taking so much medication. No one knows what’s wrong with me. I keep pretending like i’m fine and i want to forget it all. I want to forget that i ever had any feelings for you.

Maybe i hated you for the longest time. Maybe i knew why you left me but never wanted to face it because i’d feel like i would hate myself. I think all along i thought i could keep going and that i’d get somewhere where i’d be so in love that i would forget you and prove to myself that i could be healed.

Now, i realize that i just need to stop and appreciate what i lost so i can find my way back to you. I promise i’ll come back to you.

I love you.