I’ve realized how long it takes to allow a really great idea to emerge. The more time you spend thinking about what you’re doing and absorbing yourself only by what you’ve labeled as your idea, the more you confuse yourself.

A really great idea is innovational. You can’t go looking to make innovation– it’s nowhere to be found. You can’t find it if you don’t know what it looks like. Innovation is so simple, that it’s invisible.

This is why I wasn’t sure. I didn’t know what I was doing even though I was a year ahead of everyone on my concept development for thesis in my current fourth year. I wasn’t sure, because I didn’t know why I was doing it and I was curious to find out what I really wanted to do. I wanted to make innovation and I was really keen on it.

That’s not how you do it — no! I realized this because I’ve had enough of it! I’ve had enough of reading about social networking, Web2.0, the next in technology, media, popular culture, online business and fancy tools! Get the hell out of here! All of you! I’m tired of reading about your stupid, lame-ass observations that I thought were going to give me answers! I didn’t waste my time because I got obsessed with you and now I’m letting you go for good, because I realize how little I connect with you! You just don’t get it do you? Does anyone get it? All you can do is write your books and make theories. I was disgusted to walk into Chapters and see stacks of books on the Web! Get the hell out of here! I’m not what you guys are talking about. I don’t want to be that! You’re brainwashing me and making me think I’m doing something else! Why are you so addictive? Why are you people doing this? Stop buzzing! Innovation is something you can’t find if you just talk about the same thing over and over and over! You’re going to wait around to point fingers and go “ooo”, “aaah”, “noooo”, “yeees”, “goooood”, “baaaaad”.

None of you get it! None of you who talk GET IT! Fuck your Facebook that ruined my life. I looked up to you, and I’m ashamed of it. I don’t trust anything but my gut and my gut won over your hypnotic. My gut is creative and I do not settle for anything less than what corresponds with my beliefs.

Do you want to know why I’m so mad? I’m mad at myself! I’m mad at brainwashing myself for so long with my eager and ambition to do something big. I’m mad at letting what’s out there on the web be an example of what I want to do. Because frankly, I don’t want to do anything that is close to what already exists online. I want to do something for people who can use what I do and appreciate what it can do for them. I want to help people and I have a unique personality and I know it. I’m mad because I sold myself short. I’m mad because I let my addiction to technology freeze me. I’m mad because I’m letting myself be like others when I know I’m capable of a lot more than others.

I’m mad because I’m tired of how people think! I’m tired of all this fluff and I’m tired of IT talk. I’m mad at designers for not being leaders and I’m mad at creative people who sell themselves short and don’t push it far enough! I’m mad what the Web is doing to our human factor — it is DEhumanizing us.

All I care about is nature. I care about true nature and its ability to transform and evolve and change. Fuck what you think matters because evidently, you have no idea what nature means. Therefore, you will always look for innovation and never make it.

If you don’t understand power, you will never have it.