My first blog post was in 2007 when I was heading down to Florida for a 5 month exchange program. I started writing about my experiences because for some reason I found some value in them. I liked reading them later to relive things again. I wanted to make meaning of life as I evolved as a designer.

A friend of mine whom I hadn’t met up with for a year said to me, “member when you were ambitious?”
I paused for a moment, not knowing if I should respond with offense or agreement. I said, “I’m always ambitious. I’m coming up with ideas at work (contracting at RIM currently). I’m trying new things, presenting new ideas.” I think that response wasn’t with offense nor agreement, it was with comfort.

I feel like I’m in a comfort zone right now. I’m going to work for 8 hours, to a renowned telecom company, working on ideas that can make me stand out as a designer. I live with my boyfriend who I fell in love with in the first week we met and I feel like my life has settled down. I had no idea when you find love, a whole lot of things change. Your core becomes shared with one other person who becomes part of you. I had never had that but always longed for it. I was in the search for that one interesting worthwhile person. So I have it now – now what?

I doodle. I started doodling since last December and it seems to be my first hobby, because I don’t do it for a reason. My boyfriend was the main reason I started doing it. His encouragement kept me going.

Who am I now? Where is my ambitious self? That daredevil who was after something big. My gut answer is, “I’m always ambitious”. Because I know I’m driven. Time will tell where I belong in this world of innovation, cusp, peek, breakthrough, disaster, unsustainable, confused, chaos, leadership, youth, technology, internet, mobile and CHANGE. I’m comfortable right now with the new relaxed me that doesn’t feel responsible to be a social leader, change-maker, agitator, mover, shaker, button pusher. I feel happy to snuggle and eat dinner with a smile every day. I’ve found peace in the other, even though it’s scary sometimes.

Is that the new me? Well it’s updated enough for now!