I am an extension of my father and mother. I owe my life to them because they have given me life; given me shelter, care, love and support. They have done everything in their life for their family — everything. I have had great education for 11 years in one of the most diverse cities in the entire world, Toronto. I have a culture, tradition, language and a strong family behind me as my individuality and what I call home. Immigrating to a new culture with new values, ideologies, mentality and ”norm” is one of the most difficult experiences for any family to adjust to. For my brother and I, of course it was the best thing we could ask for without knowing its benefits at the time. It was because of our parents’ decision we are here today, with the education we have and the opportunities we have awaiting our future. My parents did not develop a strong passion or love for their individual interests and pursuits — except for food maybe — because in most cultures individuality is not as important as family and dependence. Happiness is surrounded by the warmth in family and tradition. So for me to have the freedom to explore myself and my potential in this society knowing that my parents did not have the same opportunity really makes my heart twist. It’s what I remind myself every time I feel misunderstood.
I want to cry when I think about who I might have been if I was still in Iran and how different I would be as an individual. I’m sure I’d still find a love for something and pursued a field of interest, but after hearing stories of students and universities, it makes me feel like I’m in heaven to be able to study whatever I wish and have endless opportunities awaiting my doorstep. Freedom we have here is like a fog and we don’t realize that sky is the limit if we don’t get lost in the fog and move to an unfoggy place where the sky is crisp and the stars are clear.
A job gives money and money provides. My parents have done everything in their might to provide as I’m sure every parent would want to do for their children. They have gone through the hardship so that we can have a life of ease, and I am grateful for that every single day, but do not speak it, acknowledge it and state it every day. I am doing it now because I see things more clear now. Everything I have said is obvious but writing about it makes it real and it makes it a message so that everyone can see it.
Why is it that it’s so foggy up in here? Why is it just as hard sometimes to go through this life with so many privileges? It is hard; but it’s only our choice to make it hard. It takes more discipline to be able to find our way out of the fog. In reality, it’s only wisdom. Wisdom is internal but is practiced through our senses — we could call it our instincts or our true nature.
We have the ability to do; we have the ability to see, to learn, to have the freedom to speak with potential to grow and become whatever we create. We create our future through our choices, and we can all agree that there are just way too many choices out there perplexing our lives. Maybe if things were more straight-forward and less confusing, we would all be sure about our decisions and feel confident about ourselves.
We live in a society of comparison: through money, fashion, physical attributes and institutional education system designed to rank our knowledge. We choose to do this however. We choose to let our relativity depend on our culture so that we feel like we are a part of it and catch up to the ideology of success. We then don’t see our true nature and our successes.
My parents are extremely successful: they have disciplined me, loved me, provided for me, supported me in anything I chose to explore and worried for me for the length that I needed to be worried for. It was hard — yes. To grow up in a western culture with another culture at home is definitely challenging to experience. Even with communication barriers, social life, beliefs, experiences, my double life has gotten me so far. No matter how distance I really am with my parents and my individuality on many levels, I still love them for who they are and what they have done for me. Yes, it does take a lot of self-discipline, patience and drive to understand yourself through time. I chose to stay true to myself and I never gave that up. I don’t label myself as a conceived individual based on my appearance, accomplishments and technical skills; I define myself through my passion and drive to be happy and love life by pursuing as many realizations as I can maintain along the way. Doing things and acting on choices is a tool for learning and I define life as endless learning and growth. I don’t see anything as a mistake and I do not define bad or good. The body is the best hardware because it contains all the software — you just have to learn how to use it and the tutorials are available through life. So, live, love and do…and stay true.
I love you mom and dad;
I am who I am because of you.
But, you are you and I am me;
we all choose our own destiny.
